


Atlas

by Jw_Summers



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, But will update as we go along, Can't give away too much in the tags, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jw_Summers/pseuds/Jw_Summers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was strawberry milkshakes in the summer, pumpkin spice everything in the fall. He was the icy bite of the winter air, the warmth I hated to leave every morning tangled in the sheets.</p><p>Ashton was mine, and then he was gone.</p><p>*****   *****   *****</p><p>Michael’s always been my person, y'know? My brother in everything but blood. But I’m starting to learn that there is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them, and it sure as hell gets weird when you start feeling the latter towards your best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sun

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series or works inspired by the Atlas EPs by Sleeping at Last. 
> 
> The chapters will be alternating narratives between Lashton and Malum, but they are linked in some way. I don't want to give too much away in the tags, but I will be updating those as we go along.
> 
> I'm trying out a new format here and I'd love to know how you all feel about it! Please feel free to leave any feedback in the comments, I really do appreciate them. Lastly, I sincerely hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you.

  _With golden string  
__Our universe was brought to life,  
__That we may fall in love  
__Every time we open up our eyes._

 _I guess space, and time,_  
_takes violent things, angry things_  
_and makes them kind._

***** 

 

It was the Spring of 2010 when I first met him. He moved in three houses down the street and started attending the same school, though two grades above. He was instantly popular. I never was.

Still, we were best friend in every sense of the phrase. We used to catch the same bus and head home and spend time together, and it was in those treasured moments before and after the brutal hours of the social battlefield called school that he became who he was to me. 

He was strawberry milkshakes in the summer, pumpkin spice everything in the fall. He was the icy bite of the winter air, the warmth I hated to leave every morning tangled in the sheets.

Ashton was mine, and then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

  ** _2010_**

 

Luke rang the unfamiliar doorbell then shuffled back a few steps and rocked on his heels, chewing nervously on my bottom lip as he waited for a reply. He didn’t have to wait long – after a short moment of fumbling with a lock, the ashy blue door was pushed open. It took Luke a moment to realise that it wasn’t in fact a ghost door opening itself, but a small child whom he hadn’t noticed before. Bending down slightly to reach the kid’s eye level, Luke offered a tentatively smile as he extended the plate of cookies in his hand.

“Hi, welcome to the neighbourhood! I’m Luke. I live three doors down and mum told me to come say hello.”

The boy just blinked at him before grabbing a still-warm cookie from the plate and running back into the house with a gleeful, yet oddly sinister giggle. Luke was left alone, shuffling his feet awkwardly on the porch and wondering what in the world he was supposed to do now. Leave the plate and run? Knock again on the open door? That just felt silly. Perhaps he should let himself in, but that could come across as a bit creepy.

To his relief, he wasn’t left to deliberate what the least ridiculous thing to do for too long, as a curly-haired head emerged in the doorway soon enough.

A curly-haired head attached to a very tanned, very _naked_ torso.

“Harry, why is the door ope- Oh. Hello! Sorry, my brother does that sometimes. He's only five. I didn’t realise we had someone at the door.” He must have noticed the cookies in Luke’s hand, as his eyes lit up and smile widened. “Are those for us?”

Luke finally snapped out of his daze at the question directed at him. “Oh yeah! Hi. I’m Luke, from number twelve. My mum made you some cookies to welcome you to the neighbourhood.”

The guy beamed, extending a hand that had Luke nearly drop the plate in order to grasp. It completely engulfed his and he fought back a blush.

“That’s way too nice of her! I’m Ashton. Come on inside for a bit! Mum’s at work and my sister, Lauren, is at a friend’s house. It’s just me and my brother today. There’s not much but I could offer you some ice cream? Or milk to go with the cookies? Eh, we’ll sort something out. Please, come inside.”

Luke nodded, and that day a friendship was forged over milk moustaches and laughter that made his sides hurt in the best way possible.

 

* * *

  

School started two weeks after the boys were first introduced. Ashton had expressed his nervousness about being the new kid, especially only a year away from graduation, to Luke as they were sprawled on the floor of Ashton’s room. Luke reassured him that he would be just fine; that people would love him and Luke would always be there for him even though he was only in year nine himself. Ashton smiled that toothy, dimply smile and pressed resume on their movie, saying nothing.

 

***

 

Well, Luke was right about one thing. Everyone wanted to be Ashton’s friend. He inadvertently skipped to the very top of the social ladder and within weeks was one of the most popular students in the school. He rarely had enough of a break from his year eleven friends to send anything more than a small wave and mouthed “hello” to his best friend at the table of year nine misfits.

It stung a little that he didn’t get to spend more time with Ashton, but Luke knew that that was just how things were. At least there were the times before and after school when they got to hang out, regardless of how limited due to their increasingly busy schedules. Ashton was captain of the swim team and Luke had band practice and tutoring.

Imagine his surprise (and delight) when his advanced math teacher in Year 10 handed him a slip with the address of his new tutee.

He rang the familiar doorbell and rocked his heels on the familiar porch, accepted the warm embrace of Ashton’s mother when she opened the door and climbed the creaky stairs up to Ashton’s door. He knocked twice before entering, meeting the familiar sight of Ashton seated criss-cross buttersauce on his unmade bed, headphones on and air-drumming to whatever new album he’d been obsessing over lately. Luke was well acquainted with this routine, with these surroundings. It was... well, familiar; and he loved it.

Luke dumped the pile of math books at the foot of the bed and flopped rather ungracefully across the width of it, faceplanting into the mattress. After a while it got difficult to breathe, so he turned to press his cheek against the soft sheets instead. He was met with a raised eyebrow and unimpressed expression on Ashton’s face, though the tell-tale sparkle in his eyes gave away his fondness and amusement. Luke returned it with his cheekiest grin.

 

***

 

They were actually making progress with math, a subject Ashton was hopelessly awful at and Luke was unnervingly good with. Two hours and three of Anne-Marie’s famous hot chocolates later, Luke was finally happy with Ashton’s understanding of Calculus. He packed up his book, politely declined the offer to stay for dinner and wished Ashton luck for the next day’s exam. He took the same path home; along the cracked concrete pavement he had walked so many times before that he felt his footprints must already be imprinted into it. He felt happy and safe a little bit light-headed – just as he always did after an afternoon spent with his best friend in the whole world.

 

* * *

  

Luke answered his doorbell a week later to a flustered, ecstatic Ashton who wasted no time in pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. Luke was by no means complaining about the embrace, but his confusion quickly cleared when he remembered what day it was. Results for senior final exams were released and Ashton’s joy implicated an outcome that had Luke grinning with pride, too.

He’d passed the Calculus exam. In fact, he had more than passed. The A- grade he achieved was a significant boost to his graduation GPA, which had previously been dragged down by the dreaded subject. Ashton would now be viable for the scholarship that he would not be able to afford to attend University without.

Therefore, when Ashton pressed his forehead against Luke’s and whispered a teary “thank you, Lukey, I love you so much”, Luke pegged it as a gesture of gratitude in a moment overcome with pure, unadulterated joy.

He tried, and simultaneously failed, to ignore the flutter in his chest at the tender kiss on his cheek that followed.

 


	2. Mercury

_I know the further I go,_  
_The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed._  
_And somehow I’ve fallen in love_  
_With this middle ground at the cost of my soul._

 

*****

 

It started out as just- you know what? I can’t actually tell you when it even started. Michael’s always been my person, y’know? He bought me my first (legal) beer, was there cheering from the stands with a cast on his broken arm when I scored my first goal in little league soccer. He’s been there through every failed test and every aced resit. I’m there with an aspirin and coffee when he wakes up with the worst hangover in months from our celebrations.

He’s my other half, my brother in everything but blood. But I’m starting to learn that there is a big difference between loving someone and being _in love_ with them, and it sure as hell gets weird when you start feeling the latter towards your best friend.

 

* * *

 

 

**_2017_ **

 

Calum woke up to soft morning light streaming in through the gaps of his blinds, curtains billowing loftily in the gentle breeze trickling in from his ajar window. It couldn’t have been long since dawn, and he wonders briefly what it was that had him awake at such an hour. He was warm and comfortable and _oh._

He wasn’t alone, either. A warm, pale arm was draped lazily across his bare torso, an ankle curled around his own. His sleep-clouded eyes traced the ink marking the soft skin before his fingers did the same. It was as if he was trying to etch them into his permanent memory – the exact width and boldness of the bands, the delicate fragility of the thinnest lines; all linked by a symbol from a video game. Calum smiled, because that was such a _Michael_ thing to get tattooed.

Michael stirred, despite the tips of Calum’s fingers barely ghosting across his arm.

“Tickles,” he mumbled into Calum’s shoulder, “What’s got you so happy anyway?”

His voice was muffled and barely discernible, but Calum understood anyway. Just like how Michael didn’t even need to see his face to know that he was smiling. They just _got_ each other that way. They always had. “ _You,”_ he wanted to say. But he didn’t.

“Just thinking. It’s nothing. Go back to sleep, Mikey.”

“Mmm’kay.”

A rustle of sheets, two sighs of contentment, and silence again found its foothold in the tranquil scene.

 

***** 

 

When he woke again, the sunbeams were harsher and warm on his skin. Michael was little more than a pile of sheets and quiet snores on the other side of the mattress. Calum slid lithely out of bed, stretching out the stiffness in his back and shoulders. After a quick stop in the bathroom, he slid his keys and some cash into the back pocket of his shorts and went for a run.

It was a fine morning - not spectacularly clear or bright, but pleasant nonetheless. He saw Ashton several metres ahead of him and picked up the pace to catch up with his neighbour. They did this sometimes, went for runs in the morning and grabbed some breakfast after. He liked Ashton. He was genuine and kind and (almost) always gave good advice. He and Michael had celebrated the last two Thanksgivings with Ashton and his best friend/roommate Luke since none of them could afford to go home for the holidays. Some good memories that Calum knew he would treasure were made between the four of them.

They finished their run at the local bakery, picking up a variety of croissants and bagels to bring home and enjoy. After their usual flirty banter with the blushing teenager behind the counter who was clearly finding two fit, shirtless and sweaty guys too much for her young heart to handle at such an hour, they parted ways with fond goodbyes and Calum found himself thinking that yeah, he was okay with his life.

He let himself into his apartment and started the coffee machine before slipping into the shower.

 

*****

 

By the time he emerged with damp hair and a relaxed gait while later, Michael had already found his way out of bed and into the kitchen. He sat perched on a bar stool at the counter, hair a tangled bird’s nest atop his head and Calum’s bedsheets haphazardly draped around him in some sort of abstract toga. A steaming mug of coffee – black, three sugars – was held in both hands as he smiled lazily at his best friend. Calum told himself that he could ignore how the domesticity of the sight made him feel like he was floating.

“You’re a saint, Calum. Thanks for getting breakfast.”

“I know I am; don’t you forget it. And don’t thank me either - now you owe me one.”

Just like that, the angelic halo around Michael’s platinum blonde head disappeared. He smirked, teeth almost glinting in the light.

“I don’t know, man. The amount of times you called out God’s name last night makes it pretty difficult to forget your saintliness.” He snickered. “How exactly would you like to be repaid, Cal?”

It was incredible, really, how his best friend could turn practically everything into innuendo. The sheets around Michael’s shoulders slipped, just enough to expose his collarbone, and Calum’s eyes flickered to the blooming purple marks blossoming from within the smooth skin - marks he’d left there himself mere hours ago.

He quirked an eyebrow, let the towel around his waist fall to the ground and headed into his bedroom without a second glance.

He knew Michael would follow him. He always did.

 


	3. Venus

_At first I thought you were a constellation._  
_I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation:_

_I was a billion little pieces_  
_'til you pulled me into focus._  
_Astronomy in reverse,_  
_It was me who was discovered._

 

*****

It’s strange how life works out sometimes. Have you ever thought about it? Somehow, in the vast expanse of infinity that is our constantly-expanding universe, there is a planet which is capable of sustaining life. The Goldilocks planet, so to speak – not too hot, not too cold, not too wet, not too dry. Just the perfect composition to allow for us to live, to breathe, to love.

I sometimes wonder how in the midst of all this cosmic chaos of creation, an entity as rare and precious, as _beautiful_ as Luke found its way into my life.

* * *

 

 

_**2017** _

 

Their weekend mornings had become a routine by now. Ashton would go for his morning run and buy breakfast home before Luke had even emerged from his room with sleep in his eyes and a yawn on his lips. Call it tradition – weekdays were hectic and they operated on different schedules; but those lazy, languid weekends were just for them. 

Luke would smile that toothy, dimpled grin that Ashton was so particularly fond of and thank him for getting breakfast. Ashton would shrug it off and set the coffee machine brewing. It was comfortable.

Becoming roommates after Luke’s graduation was never a plan, but Ashton couldn’t have been happier about how things had worked out. He was fresh out of teaching college, undergoing a placement with some great kids and living in his dream city with his best friend. His neighbours had become some of his best friends and he had a beautiful girlfriend whom he was taking that night to watch the sequel to his favourite movie. He knew that when he got home from that, Luke would be curled up fast asleep on the couch, the television screen still rolling the disc menu on repeat since whenever Luke had drifted off during his attempt to wait up for Ashton. He’d hoist the sleeping boy up, bridal style, and tuck him into his bed before heading to his own. Sleep. Repeat.

Life was good to Ashton Irwin; he reminded himself not to take it for granted.

 

* * *

  

Ashton couldn’t tell if his head or heart hurt more. He felt like he should feel less relieved and more dejected that he and Becca had just broken up, which only led to him adding guilt to his list of conflicted emotions. It had been a mutual decision, but the two-year relationship still had been a big part of his life and it felt strange that it no longer existed. Becca was wonderful; their time together had simply run its course. They hugged each other at the end of their coffee shop break up scene and he knew they’d always be good friends. If anything, he felt like the only thing that really upset him was the void left behind by the comfortable security of a committed relationship.

So Ashton did what he usually did whenever he felt upset – he talked to the one person who always made him feel better.

Luke answered on the fourth ring.

“Hey Ash,” the sleep-husky voice asked. “What’s up?”

Oh crap. He’d forgotten to check the time before calling. “Sorry to wake you, Lukey. It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”

“No no, it’s…” _yawn_ “it’s fine. I’m up now anyways. Where are you?”

“The Coffee Bean on Sixth Street. Just had coffee with Becs.”

“Aww since when were you two one of them coffee date couples?” Luke replied in a teasing voice, completely oblivious to the irony of his words.

“We’re not-”

“I know, Ash. Was being sarcastic for God’s sake-”

“We’re not a couple. Not as of ten minutes ago.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

There was silence on the line for a good five minutes. He didn’t need to speak - neither of them did. The thing about being so close to someone for so long is that all you need for comfort sometimes is their company. Ashton found solace in the gentle sounds of Luke’s breathing amidst the hustle and bustle of the caffeine-deprived morning crowd.

Eventually though, Ashton cleared his throat and spoke up. Life went on.

“I’m heading back now. Did you want anything from here?”

There was shuffling on the other end – Luke getting out of bed and stretching out his long limbs. “I’m good. Think there’s still some cereal left.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Take care. Bye.”

Ashton slipped his phone into his pocket and rose from the hard wooden seat. He purchased a fresh blueberry muffin from the counter before he left, careful not to crush it on his way back home.

 

*****

 

He was engulfed in a pair of lean arms and crushed against a broad chest the moment he stepped through the door.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Ashton replied, voice a little muffled against Luke’s skin.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

They stood there for a while, Ashton’s arms wrapped loosely around his best friend’s waist whilst the younger boy nuzzled his face against his neck.

“What's that warmth pressing against my back?”

Huh? Oh, right. “It’s just the muffin I got for you, silly.” Ashton giggled, extracting the slightly squashed brown paper bag from where it was resting against his best friend’s back. “Your favourite one with loads and loads of blueberries in it.”

Luke’s face absolutely lit up. His eyes flickered with some strong emotion as they met Ashton’s, but it vanished quickly as Luke blinked happily at him and gave him a final squeeze before skipping – _skipping_ – into the kitchen with the muffin in tow. 

Ashton shook his head fondly as he headed for the couch. He threw himself into the welcoming embrace of the soft cushions and covered his face with a throw pillow. It would take a while to get used to being single – being alone – again.

However, as Luke plopped down on top of him with surprising grace, carefully tearing the blueberry muffin in half to share, Ashton realized that as long as he had his gangly best friend, he would never be lonely. Not really.

 

***** 

 

On hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have drank that much. Shouldn’t have felt absolutely at ease with pressing his lips to his best friends’, rolling the cold metal of his lip ring around his tongue. He shouldn’t have giggled as much as he did when they fell onto their shared couch in a tangle of limbs and half-removed clothes. He shouldn’t have tucked them both into bed after and certainly should not have felt that happy and free of regrets when he woke up in a tight embrace when dawn broke.

Ashton _should_ have felt more surprised when he realized he was in love with his best friend. But as he watched the sunlight turn Luke’s blonde hair into a glowing halo around his face, Ashton understood the reason that he felt no surprise at all at the revelation.

He had been in love with Luke all this time.

 


End file.
